Archive for January 2012
My Husband’s in the Hospital
Friday night my husband had this “leaving do” (going-away party) for work. They went out for dinner and drinks and I figured he’d be home around 1:30 when the pub closed so I headed up to bed about that time, since that’s my normal bedtime anyway. When I woke up at three, he still wasn’t home. Highly unlike him. Three-thirty and he still wasn’t home. Really unlike him. I called and it went straight to voicemail, now I was freaked out. He was dead in a ditch and his phone had been run over by the truck which squashed him…. { read more }
Drunk Packing, I’m Going to Patent that Shit
If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you spent Thursday evening getting real-time updates on my final efforts packing the crap that we weren’t sure we wanted to take until we packed the crap we definitely wanted to take… so we could assess the amount of second-string-crap space we had left over. Here’s my packing pro-tip to you: turn it into a drinking game. One Box One Shot was a screaming success. Also? Keep track of the weird stuff you uncover while packing the remnants of your life into cardboard boxes. Maybe it’s just me and my super sitcom… { read more }
Better Than Kittens
If a video of a three year-old spelling her name, with a slight sibilant S impediment, isn’t the cutest thing you see today… well, then I’m not sure we can still be friends.
Life, Marriage and the Pursuit of Happiness
Marriage is so fucking hard. I think when we tell our children fairytales about true love and being swept off your feet in a love bliss that curls your toes… I think we need to tell them that as well. It’s. So. Fucking. Hard. It’s important to me to be a person of value, a person of my word, a trustworthy person. It’s really important, and I try really hard. I don’t always hit that mark. But my commitment to my family is important to me. The success of my family is important to me. So we keep getting up… { read more }
I Might Stop Blogging
There’s no right or wrong way to blog. Okay, that’s not entirely true. There are some wrong ways. But as long as it’s compelling to read, there are a whole bunch of right ways. I have gotten a lot of flak for what I write, especially since I started using my real name. There have been people who think I share too much about myself, especially since I’m a mom. Evidently that means I’m supposed to be a nun, speak like one and project myself like one in my spare time. But none of that is what really matters to… { read more }
Stop Being Such a Bitch
Cattiness, gossip, bitchiness, tearing each other down. It’s the bane of womanhood, right? Why do we do it, and can’t we do better? Today at In the Powder Room: Stop Being Such a Bitch
Do Not Puke on the Baby Seals
I’ve been running around like a headless chicken with a crack habit. Okay, maybe that’s just in my mind. But no, not really. I have shoveled out the wood chips that were put in place for the chicken coop and shoveled the rocks back into place from whence they came two years ago. My shoulders still ache like I’ve been spent the day jerking off a T-rex. I’ve sold the chicken coop, listed the Burley bike trailer on ebay (auction finishes today), gone through my closet and whittled my wardrobe down to the absolute bare minimum necessities. (P.S. I need… { read more }
Honesty’s a Bitch
I asked Twitter last night what quality everyone admired in other people. I got some really good answers. It’s nice to read a really long list of the nicest aspects of humanity. It’s hopeful and chipper just by its nature. The most common answer was honesty. I found that fascinating. People are never 100% honest. No one. Ever. The nature of human beings is that we’re curious, social and yet private all at the same time. So people around us want to know everything about us while we want to save some space for ourselves. The easiest way to keep… { read more }
My Secrets Are Weirder Than Yours
We’ve all got our dirty little secrets. Every. Single. One of us. And I’m talking all about it in my Monday column over In the Powder Room: My Secrets Are Weirder Than Yours. Get your fine ass over there and weigh in with a comment… if you’re brave enough .
And So It Begins…
The great Getting-Rid-Of-All-My-Shit-In-Preparation-For-Moving-Halfway-Across-The-World has begun. I just sold my chicken coop. The Eglu will officially be rehomed on Tuesday. I’m pretty bummed about it. I loved that thing. I know, it might be dumb to mourn my purple chicken coop, but damn’t that thing is awesome. I might cry when she picks it up. And yes, we can get another one once we’re there. But it won’t be the same. Seriously, it won’t. It’s like the episode of Friends where Rachel’s baby falls in love with Joey’s stuffed Penguin and won’t be placated by a look alike. It’s not the… { read more }
