Archive for April 2011
My Luck Just Got Better
My hens are becoming semi-famous. You all have heard the tales and grown green with envy over my four cluckers out back and the bountiful eggs they bestow upon us. I cook for them. The kids eat cold cereal and milk for breakfast, my hens have oatmeal or barley with tuna and corn. We get some of the biggest, tastiest eggs I have ever seen and I’m not just saying that because I’m biased. Everyone says so. We give some to our awesome neighbor and Novak sells the extras at work. The other day I went to collect the eggs… { read more }
Ask Me No Questions and I’ll Tell You No Lies
My neighbor, the midwife who has become a surrogate family member (especially to the kids, who ADORE her), made me cry within two seconds of seeing her yesterday. I’m a giant crybaby bawlbag, but even for me… that’s an accomplishment. I went over to her house yesterday to invite her over for a barbecue after I ruined her day planner. How did I ruin her dayplanner? Well, it’s kind of an entire post in itself, so I’ll give you the really Reader’s Digest version: Her washing machine is broken, I made her give me her laundry so I could wash… { read more }
I Ate Like a Queen: For Jenny
You know I gave up bread for Lent, for no religious reasons. It was just a good amount of time to give up starchy carbs in my quest for a hotter bod. Well, except for when I went to Spain… all bets were off when I went to Spain and found the best food I’ve ever had in my life. But that’s not the point. The point is that my friend, Jenny has gone gluten free. I ache for her in that deep part of my soul filled with bread and pasta. But yesterday I ate two of the best… { read more }
Make Sure You’re Cooler Than Your Grandma
My grandmother was born in 1919. Which meant she took the Sweet ‘N’ Low from restaurants, like the entire contents of the container. And she told us all about how she and her 156 brothers and sisters would hand down shoes until the soles were completely walked off on the way to school, up hill, both ways, in the snow. And she had this cabinet full of margarin tubs, ice cream tubs and any tub from any food that came in a tub; because it was wasteful to buy Tupperware and throw out these perfectly good containers, child. Now, I… { read more }
10 Things I Wish You Didn’t Know About Me
It’s been too long since I lifted my skirt and showed you my underpants. I’ve told you all about my vacation, and then told you some more about it. That was fun. But when I go too long without being real with you, I start to feel like I’m sitting in a job interview… showing you the nice, acceptable side of me that I’d like to think is worth hiring. Here goes: 1. I find it hard to think I’m still as hot as I was when I was younger. This layer of padding that resides over my six pack,… { read more }
Moment of Awesome: Wordless Wednesday
I know I said I was done with the vacation pictures, but these are so cute on their own that they don’t even count as vacation pictures. They’re just a moment of awesome. Perfect for Wordless Wednesday. And don’t forget that today is the Wednesday Scream over at AndNobodyToldMe.com, where you get to take over the post, tell me what’s made you want to scream this week and see how this little package of cute has made me absolutely psychotic the last two days.
I’m a Cold-Hearted Killer
I am capable of crying for a stranger on a TV commercial, but I am equally capable of cold-blooded murder. Dear lord, please don’t turn up dead any time soon because now everyone will totally think I did it. I’m serious though. When I was a teenager and would watch movies like Point of No Return, I would think… I would make an excellent assassin. I’ve never fired a gun in my life. Everyone I know who is a gun person tells me I should, I would love it. I know I would. That’s what scares me. I have no… { read more }
How Babe Comes Back From Vacation
If you read yesterday, you know I’m back from the vacation haze and have had some things weighing on me that I had to get off my chest. Those comments meant a lot to me, I really appreciate the awesome support. I had so much on my mind, that this week in addition to the Wednesday Scream I’ve been doing over at And Nobody Told Me, I’ve written a regular post. If you feel like being super hot and awesome, you could check out that post today and I’ll be back with some Babe-ness tomorrow. You rock, you know that?
I’m Not Catholic So My Stream of Consciousness Sunday Is My Confession
I’ve not been the best mom I can be lately. I don’t know why or how, but I feel like I’ve backslid into this low-patrience, short-fused, non-mom. I just noticed it the other day when I was talking to my son and I thought, Who the hell is this talking? I wouldn’t talk to my worst fucking enemy with this tone in my voice. Why am I talking to my son, my first born baby, like this? I was so embarrassed, so ashamed. I took them to the park this morning, we played on every piece of equipment until their… { read more }
My Spanish Rooftop Video
Trust me, the irony does not escape me that my video rubbing it in that I’m in Spain is now like salt in my own exposed artery. Karma bites hard. Hi, my name is Stay In Spain Babe. I’m in Spain and you’re not, Stay At Home Babe. Hahahaha. What a bitch. Anyway, my point still stands. I’ve not been on my computer as much. I’ve been planting in my garden and playing with the kiddos while Easter Break from school lasts. It’s a good idea. Soak up my awesomeness and then go soak up some sun!
