Archive for January 2011
Because It’s So Sexy, That’s Why
Does anybody else watch vampire porn… I mean, True Blood? We are big fans of True Blood, but I have to qualify that by saying they’ve only just started showing Season 3 over here. So, if something happens by the end of the season that makes the show stupid then I can’t be held responsible for liking it still. So, we were watching it last night and sure enough… vampire doin’ it with some chick in a hotel and it’s so good that her eyes literally roll back in her head. I told Novak that if I ever met a… { read more }
Evidently, I’m a Huge B*tch & He Doesn’t Give a F*ck What I Say
Sunday Stream of Consciousness (from allthingsfadra.com) time: Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only. Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw. Yesterday we went to an indoor play gym. You know, one of those places which are overgrown hamster cages for kids—practically complete with spinning running wheels. It was so freaking loud that my brain was totally fried by the time we left. I genuinely didn’t notice the noise level until we got home and I watched some video I had… { read more }
My Husband Got a Drunken Booty Call
A cell phone rang in my living room at one-thirty in the morning. I can assure you, it wasn’t mine. I don’t have a cell phone (or a mobile—with a long i—as they call it over here). I don’t really need one. I don’t have my license yet, so I’m rarely out and about without someone who does have one. I’ve gone three years without one. I have kind of forgotten what it was like. Used to be, if I left the house without my phone I would completely panic and race home to get it. I feel like the… { read more }
You’ve Got Two Choices
Life’s full of choices, so why not have two more? Depending on your mood today, you can read/re-read the smuttingly terrific post from yesterday when I told you about the single strangest sexual proposition that I (and anyone I know) ever received. OR, behind door number two, is my post over at my other blog, AndNobodyToldMe.com. At the end of it is a DELIGHTFUL video of Hudson a little over a month ago when she was just getting the hang of her ABC’s. Only like half of them though, which is what makes it so cute. She usually does a… { read more }
The Freakiest Sexual Proposition Ever
You know those posts where I’ve clearly had a couple glasses of wine and I sit down at the keyboard, when I probably shouldn’t. Well, get ready for another one… For some reason, I’ve decided that it’s high time I tell you about the night I was cocktail waitressing in a dingy little strip club and I got the strangest sexual proposition of my life. Let’s be fair, that’s saying a lot. I’ve certainly never claimed to be a shrinking violet, but this dude… he was special and I think it’s a hilarious, yet slightly scarring story that my Lovely… { read more }
Green Smoothies: Better than a Punch in the Junk
My daughter suddenly stopped liking vegetables. She was a crazy veggie eater her whole life and now, out of nowhere, she pushes them aside, eats her meat and declares herself done. For a couple of days, I let it slide. I thought that she was just having a big growth spurt and needed lots of protein, or just in a weird mood. It hasn’t gone away. So, I’ve resorted to sneaking them in. Honestly, who doesn’t need more veg in their life, even if they readily make an effort to eat them? So, even if you don’t have kids… totally… { read more }
You Know You Wanna See My Lap Dance
The 30 Day Shred is hurting my knees. I’m going to keep going with it, but I am going to need something lower impact for a long-term plan. I’m thinking hula hooping. It’s like sexin’ with the air, right? I may have to close the curtains for fear that passersby will get all hot and bothered and break down my door. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, or something like that. I’m a dancin’ queen if I do say so myself and hula hooping is just as close to a lap dance as we get around here… { read more }
Awards, Garage Band Rehearsals: What’s the Difference?
I’m watching the British Comedy Awards. It’s on in the background as I type and there’s some old man I’ve never heard of, giving another old man I’ve never heard of a lifetime achievement award. It’s given me a moment to pause and appreciate, or not, this awards process on its own merit rather than who the awards are being given to or what the funk they’re talking about because I have no idea who these people are. British Comedy Awards looks like a garabe band rehearsal (you know… in the garage) compared to American awards show. I know that… { read more }
Homemade Yogurt in the Crockpot (Cheap & Awesome)
Several people have asked me to do another Saturday recipe, and this particular recipe has come up in a few conversations this week… so, it just made sense. My kids would eat their weight in yogurt, if I didn’t make them eat vegetables and stuff. Those little tubs of prepackaged, organic yogurt can get really pricey when your kids munch through four servings a day (total, not each). Go give this a try and then come back and tell me how awesome it is, and how awesome I am for telling you about it. If you don’t squeal a little… { read more }
Alone Time? Yes, Please… and a Gift for You!
I asked you on Facebook and Twitter the other day if you thought that alone time was a requirement or a luxury. It was an almost unanimous response that it is definitely a requirement, but since most of us never take it, it feels like a luxury. This got me thinking and has resulted in two things; one which was great for me, and one which I think will be great for you… at least, I hope it will be, I think it is… let’s get to it. So, how was it good for me? Awwwwwwe, that’s so sweet of… { read more }
