StayAtHomeBabe.com

Well said! I think you raise some very good points. I felt similarly when that crazy pastor wanted to burn the Koran and everyone was talking about it. The guy had like 50 followers. No one would have noticed him. Instead he got world press. Not to get all “the media is evil” but they are digging really low to find “news.”

Beautiful poem.

You are so right about calling the wrong kind of attention to the wrong people. Something needs to be done but we need to write to and about the people who can do something about it. My heart goes out to the childhood that was lost to you. Someone in my family suffered at the hands of someone who was supposed to love her. It then started to happen with me, but she got me out. You are so courageous to share with your readers of your experience. I know how hard it is to remember and relive the experience but I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are true champion.

While I agree that posting the book may give it free ‘publicity’ I think that stating it would have gone unnoticed is a little….um…naive isn’t the word I’m looking for, but something like that. Here’s why:

1) Amazon sets its own digital print guidelines, this book violated at least two of them. You can bet that people who aren’t allowed to print digitally (because of said rules) are always trolling for other books in attempt to be whiny-asses, and go “If HE can do it, why can’t I?”. Because people are morons, and have nothing better to do.

2) Any good non-profit is going to have some very specific google alerts to this type of thing. My guess is that is poured in under their daily feed for many of the keywords that they have crawling at any one time. Which brings me to my next point:

3) For many non-profits it’s their job to bring this to light. I, for one, would never have thought Amazon would have done something like this in a million years. Believe you me, I have a different view of Amazon at the moment.

4) Things spread like wildfire on social media (Yes, I’m captain obvious, what of it?)

5) Last, silence does no one any good. For so many reasons.

Having said ALLLLL that, I respect your opinion, love your blog, and will agree to disagree with you on this particular aspect of the subject.

Also? I think you’re a kick-ass survivor.

pamperedpatty

I’m going to touch on this once, as I’ve really been burnt out by the whole subject yesterday. Twitter blew up in my face yesterday and I could barely keep up with all of the Amazon Book Of Death boycotting. However I stayed largely silent on it, only a comment here and there, because I was really confused by what everyone was doing.

I’m going to make a point with the Harry Potter books first. Does anyone remember the outrage that the Christian Right had over this book, especially when it first came out? “This puts magic in a postive light, and OH MY GOD it has children practicing magic!!!” And do you know what that caused? That caused me, and countless others, to pick up the book and see what the hub-bub was about. I’m included in this. I never would have picked it up if it wasn’t for the calls for boycotts.

Do you honestly think that the book series would have been a world-wide smash if it wasn’t for people screaming for censorship? Sure, it’s also a good series. But the other catapult for its success was people screaming for it to be banned. Making a big brouhaha over such things brings it to the general public’s attention, which makes them read it to see what the fuss is about. Remember, there’s no such thing as bad press. Just ask Paris Hilton.

This is what help cause the book to launch into a literary success that hasn’t been seen in our lifetime. Because of people calling for a ban/censorship.

Now, lets apply this to the Amazon book in question. First off, I’m gay and a heathen, so when I tell you that this book is a vile abomination and pedos have a special place in hell for them, you better take note of the fact that I don’t support it. At all. But your boycotting did nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing. Sure, you got the book pulled, but not after the book made it to the top 96 in sales.

Read that again. It made the coveted top 100 in sales on Amazon.

If you would have just left it alone, It would have maybe sold 10 in its entire lifetime by some truly sick individuals. But now it’s in the hands of a LOT of people, probably kids with access to credit cards with the one-click buy option on Amazon.

Now, is this going to make everyone a sick pedo perv? No. This book doesn’t have the power to do that. But now he’s a millionaire.

I agree, babe, in that people should have taken their outrage and actually tried to do something about it rather then just make my twitter feed throw up because of 20,000 retweets about Amazon and the pedo-how-to guide. All it did was get a (poorly written, grammar-proned) book out to the general public and made him an insane amount of money. Didn’t seem the boycott was much of a success, ‘eh?

And, apparently, I didn’t realize I wrote a novel. Sorry love.

I see your point, but disagree – I don’t think that we should let little things fly under the radar. Little things, when they pile up, become big things. And abuse – especially child sexual abuse – thrives on silence.

I think that the larger point here was about expressing social outrage, making a loud, public condemnation of the content of this guy’s ‘free speech.’ Which was the original purpose of the principle of free speech, at least according to John Stuart Mill: by not preventing people from saying (aside: this doesn’t include actually include providing them platforms) stupid or offensive or dangerous things, society gives itself the opportunity to expose those things AS stupid/dangerous and to condemn them. And the promotion of the rape of children should absolutely and in every case be condemned, loudly, even if it’s just one guy in the corner saying it, because we need to be absolutely clear, as a society, that this is something that we do not tolerate, under any circumstances.

So, sure, he got attention. But the issue, too, got attention – and the issue needs attention, badly.

Also, the poem was very sad but deeply insightful babe. /hugs

I stayed out. Everything you wrote here is why.

Your poem- the mother in me wants to reach out to your younger self, take you in my arms and spirit you away, get you out of that horribleness.

We watched some coverage of this last night on CNN. I am inclined to agree with you on each and every point you’ve made. And though current sentencing standadrs are far from what they should be I have to believe the real “punishment” for monsters such as this comes in the form of unknown karma down the line…

I know of a monster like this that, in seemingly good health, dropped dead from a heart attack on his front lawn just days after bringing his lovely (and sixteen year old) wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. Good riddance. Apparently the powers that be decided it was time to clean house. Not soon enough.

To further illustrate the point: Another monster…a “toucher” of little girls. While departing the home of a victim slammed his fingers in the heavy wooden front door and left the first knuckle of his middle finger laying on the floor. Shoulda been the whole hand.

Karma knows your name and knows your game.

Bravo Babe. You are brave and the scars your monster left behind make you only more beautiful.

I agree that we give too much limelight to people that don’t deserve it. I turned off my computer and didn’t follow anything on Twitter yesterday because I just wanted out of it.

Bravo for putting yourself out there. This is one of the reasons I don’t have a blog, because I would love to talk about alot of things but scare away from full disclosure, which I think can be a really important part of the process, not only for readers but for the writer.

I ABSOLUTELY do not think we should let childhood sexual abuse and the issues surrounding it fly under the radar. I absolutely think we should express public outrage. However, the misguided direction of this particular outcry led to him selling an insane amount of copies and making TONS of money as the #96 spot on the amazon best sellers list. I don’t think it worked.

My hand shook for about five minutes before I hit publish on this post. Thank you.

I don’t think there’s enough karma in the world for a pedophile. I think they definitely need a few decades of ass raping in jail, that might be a good start.

I quite liked your novel

I think you had something to say, but it’s not here???

I think that’s the first time I’ve ever been called a true champion. THank you.

ugh, that crazy pastor indeed. What a wacko. Thanks for your kind words.

Technical note: Amazon is not bound by the 1st amendment. The first amendment only protects speech from obstruction by the government (and it’s agents). Private entity like businesses may pick and choose freely on a matter like this.

In short, Amazon is not betraying the 1st amendment because they pulled the book. They also would not have been its champion, has they choose to continue to sell it.

Your ability to be open and honest with your experience is one of the reasons I love your blog. As a fellow victim of abuse, I know that the hardest thing to do is talk about it. Even all these years later I can’t speak of what happened to me. My own husband doesn’t even know. I’m not a crazy person or anything, I just hate the way people look at you when you tell them. I, like you, am now living a blissfully normal and happy existance. Husband, children, house, yard, dogs.

I guess my whole point is that your courage is something I find truly inspiring and I love you for it! You will never know how amazing it has been for me to read your story and to for once not feel so alone. Keep doing what you are doing. Thank you!!!

Thanks. Seriously, thanks.

I have to agree. Her blog is a breath of fresh air because of the pure and dirty honesty. And we all know that I do love dirty. /hugs babe

Exactly. EXACTLY!

I watched this all day yesterday, knowing that as the cries grew louder, the downloads would be going up. I work in publishing and I know that’s how it works. So the anger and frustration that everyone, rightly, felt caused this guy to make money. Yes, Amazon eventually pulled the book, but not before a bunch of people learned of something that would have died on the vine otherwise. Outrage gave this book a 100,001% sales bump.

There has to have been another way to handle this, without REWARDING him with sales. For whatever reason.

You know I love ya. You know I love this blog and you know I pain for you through this poem.Ahem…..Amazon is a fucked up little demon.

I moderated links out of this comment to books for sale of a similar nature, for the same reason that I waited until Amazon had pulled this book from sale before posting about it. I do not want to contribute to the traffic these books will receive, I refuse to advertise for something I despise so much.

I getcha. Thanks for letting me know rather than wonder what up!

Well, I had some really poetic comment in progress when my browser decided to take a hike. Nice. Basically, I said that I love that you write about this even if it makes your hand shake and you need encouragement to press enter. Voices of experience and voices of wisdom are what give rise to change. You know, I usually try to keep things clean on internet. But reading things like your post today make me so pissed off that the sick mother fuckers out there like pedophiles are able to breathe the same air as me. And my anger stems from Amazon making a choice to sell a fucking product. They aren’t some noble cause trying to give every author a voice. Somebody somewhere checked a box and made a decision to sell this one item among THOUSANDS. They screwed up (or not) and felt they had to stand up for their noble business practices. Give me a fucking break.

Now, onto your well-stated point which makes much more sense in more than 140 characters. I don’t call it “the power of social media.” I call it the social media bandwagon. If someone, usually someone with some clout, cries outrage, everyone on Twitter or the blog world jumps on the bandwagon. Me? I always read first. That’s why you’ll never get an email from me about how Microsoft will send you $50 for every person you forward the email to. I have a brain all of my own. And I use it. And I read Snopes and check out links. And Google things. And make decisions. It’s okay to cause a stir. Especially if it’s something you feel really strongly about. But seriously, people need to put some thought into it. And they need to think about the results of their actions. I’m with you. I’m sure the book sales of that filth went through the roof in the short time it was available on Amazon. But I have to admit, I’m glad it’s gone.

And for the irrelevant record, Amazon is the storefront for many small businesses. So boycotting Amazon may hurt them but it also hurts many smal businesses than need dollars,e specially during the holidays. And so ends my novel. Love ya.

I can’t believe you said motherfuckers! That made my day. Thanks for the thorough response. Thanks for the support. Thanks for your passionate, good heart. Thanks for being my doppleganger-opposite, you dirty, rotten Republican. -Muaw!

What can I say? Just know that I’d like to give you a great big hug right now. In the most appropriate way, of course.

Your point about the press and bloggers feeding the whole controversy was one reason I didn’t comment on this yesterday. I’m glad it was pulled, but it should never have seen the light of day to begin with.

10000 times YES on this. You’ve so succinctly summarized exactly what I was thinking but couldn’t get out of my brain.

THANK YOU thank you thank you.

God. I’m so sorry. I wish I hadn’t played a role in bringing this up for you, for making it worse, for being the spark that lit that fire.

Well said. If people put this much effort into getting stricter laws for sexual abuse and assault, we’d be much better off. I wrote about this myself and don’t believe Amazon should have caved to the bad PR. I think it sets a precedent for the next time someone dislike the content or a book. No pedophile is going to learn how to do what he does because of this book written by someone who seems like he has a borderline-disabled intellect.

I am so sorry for all that you experienced, and I am so proud (although I don’t know you) of you for standing up for what is important and sharing what you feel you need to or want to as only you can.

I respectfully disagree as I think that a majority of those who tweeted, etc. (and initially I was not one of them, until I was thoroughly disgusted and simply re-tweeted ways to contact them to have it removed, I believe I skipped over the links to the so-called-book, but I may have been wrong there) were seriously upset and up in arms. Whether they experienced it, fear it, or wanted to stand among the many, they said what they said with good intentions. This idiotic wanna be writer, he gets his 15 minutes, but sooner or later he’ll fade into oblivion.

But either way, this discussion, what you have brought forth, is a whole other matter. These people do deserve a special place in hell, and they will find themselves there when the time is right. Hopefully before hurting so many others as they have done before. The bastards. Thank you again for sharing something from so deep within yourself.

As someone who was abused as a child as well, I have to say, I agree with you. Completely. You’ve managed to say what no one else could. I sure as hell wasn’t able too. Anyway, thank you.

Perhaps the publicity also led to his neighbours and family members realizing that he is a pedophile and perhaps that knowledge will help them to better protect their children from him. Perhaps the publicity will cause the police to investigate him and maybe that will lead to him being arrested.

I am (was?) one of the outraged mommybloggers. And while I was writing my post and retweeting and whatnot, I kept thinking about how we were giving this guy publicity. But for me, the outrage wasn’t so much about the existence of the book, it was that Amazon, which claims not to allow offensive works to be self-published, didn’t deem this book offensive. That because it didn’t have pictures, that made it okay. Private companies censor all the time, it’s the government that we don’t want to get into the censorship business. As Techcrunch pointed out, Amazon has and does censor certain works. Why not this one?

And that is exactly why I get so mad when high profile sex offenders are “quarentined” in jail away from the rest of the gang for their own “protection”. I say, let the other inmates have at ‘em. Save us years of taxpayer money keeping them alive in there.
If other criminals even want to beat the everlovin’shit out of the pedophiles…let them.
Great post. Wonderful. Well said.

I’m glad they pulled it too. I wish it had never been on there as well. I also wish he hadn’t made so much money off of the curiosity stirred up by the movement.

Thank you! I am so blown away by the response to this post. Thank you so much.

That’s really sweet. Believe me, no one brought it up for me. There’s nothing anyone could say or refrain from saying which would change it, it’s there and always will be. It happened. The thing that can be prevented or dealt with are children now. Pedophiles now. We should do whatever we can about that.

Thank you. I appreciate you reading it, I really appreciate your kind response and support.

I agree, he’ll fade into obscurity… but his pockets will be much more well-lined when he does. I also agree that the people who were outraged were well-intentioned. But, I don’t think the world can exist in a vacuum of intentions. In actuality, the “boycott” didn’t work and served to only draw attention to it in a way which profitted the author. Saying that, thank you so much for your kind words. You were incredibly respectful in disagreeing with me, and quite frankly we don’t disagree that much. As I told my friend, Fadra yesterday… we’re just on different points of the spectrum.

Thank you. I read your post about it as well. Trigger indeed.

I totally get that and I don’t disagree. It’s just that the two things aren’t mutually exclusive. We can’t draw attention to him for the reasons we wanted to and not expect him to get the publicity and money and fame that we didn’t want him to. It sucks, but it’s true. I love the intention behind the actions, it just doesn’t pan out in function, you know?

I am standing and cheering for this post. You are an incredibly brave, critically-thinking person (and an amazing writer to boot – that poem is haunting) and as much as I wish this whole debacle had never happened, the silver lining is that it made me aware of your friggin’ awesome blog.

Thanks for having the bravery to say what had been bothering me for days, but just could not articulate.

I am standing and cheering for this post. You are an incredibly brave, critically-thinking person (and an amazing writer to boot – that poem is haunting) and as much as I wish this whole debacle had never happened, the silver lining is that it made me aware of your friggin’ awesome blog.

Thanks for having the bravery to say what had been bothering me for days, but just could not articulate.

Interesting point of view. Wonderful post. I applaud your brave honesty. I have a close relative who is a sex crimes detective for the local police department and sometimes I just want to shout WHAT THE FUCK at some of the laws we have in place. In too many instances drug dealers end up in prison longer than child rapists. We have to do something to change that and I have to agree with you, spreading twitter hype won’t help. We also need to demand quality (not scandal) from our media outlets because since when is it okay to interview a pedophile author on cable TV? In the morning?

I completely agree with your effort. I find myself questioning the ramifications of what is covered on the boob tube. How did the FBI find the fraud? What is the next strategic war move? Books published by bad people being promoted (in a positive or negative light — it’s still promotion). Um, hello OJ. So this story – I never heard about. I’ve been in a hole. No reading blogs, no following twitter, no tv. nada. Apparently I missed out on the perfect rant. You said it sister – we all need to think about publicity that is given to all that we discuss.

Also – your poem. Wow.

I love you.

Completely agree. There are times to speak out and times when it is much more powerful to be silent.

That was an amazing comment to wake up to. I’ve been really fortunate to receive such amazing support from people like yourself and I really appreciate it. Thank you so much for reading.

Ugh, the “war on drugs”. That’s a valuable use of our resources, eh? It’s working out well .

twitter hype so often equals out to the same amount of efficacy as wearing pink in october and doing nothing else about breast cancer research or prevention. Tweet-washing… I have to admit, I’ve done it. I plan to pay closer attention to it moving forward.

Love you too, Cort. Thanks for coming out of your hole today. It was a good day… you know, for me… for you to do so. Hugs.

Powerful silence, there’s something I didn’t know shit about until very recently. I still think I’m a little lost on the subject if I’m being honest . I tend to be pretty opinionated, shocking i know. Learning when to keep my opinions to myself is something which still tends to ellude me.

[...] yesterday was intense. I feel like I streaked through the internet with no pants on. What’s a girl supposed to say [...]

Thank you so much for sharing your innermost thoughts with us. The poem was very insightful, moving, and relatable. Your willingness to be so candid is refreshing! I find your ability to post with such raw exposure inspiring, and I hope that you never lose the unapologetic air that this blog is known for. Thanks again for my morning indulgence

I tried posting this three times and it’s still not appearing, so here is final attempt #4 LOL

Thank you so much for sharing your innermost thoughts with us. The poem was very insightful, moving, and relatable. Your willingness to be so candid is refreshing! I find your ability to post with such raw exposure inspiring, and I hope that you never lose the unapologetic air that this blog is known for. Thanks again for my morning indulgence

Thank you so much for sharing your innermost thoughts with us. The poem was very insightful, moving, and relatable. Your willingness to be so candid is refreshing! I find your ability to post with such raw exposure inspiring, and I hope that you never lose the unapologetic air that this blog is known for. Thanks again for my morning indulgence

Wow. I actually am with you 100 percent in this. I wrote a post yesterday also- after the book had been removed. I had the same reaction to the flurry of tweets, and links, and advertising.
Good intentions are one thing- smartly carried out is another.

I am so sorry you had to experience something so awful as a child. I wish to hold your hand, and call you my sister.
*survivor hug*

Thanks for sharing, sister

I’m sure the “author” may have even felt a sense of literary validation, given all the press he received. You make a good point, as does the “other” side. What I think we should all remember here is that Amazon holds the bag on this one. Free speech doesn’t apply to the private sector. You’re free to delete this comment because it’s YOUR blog. It’s Amazon’s store. They determine and are responsible for what they do and don’t sell. But lets just for a moment give Amazon its “freedom of speech” argument and how they dumped it after fears their holiday season might be in jeopardy. They screwed-up coming and going on this one.

I’m going to completely ignore the part about Amazon, and comment on your poem. It broke my heart. Locally there was a story of a 9 year who was being rapped, and her mother knew about it and did nothing to stop it. I just can’t understand how a mother could knowingly let that happen to her child. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

I also was abused as a child, and had exactly the same reaction to the bullshit going down at Amazon as you did, and I think it’s very, very interesting to see how many fellow survivors have reacted the same way.
I wonder how many of the people who freaked out and started posting about it were survivors and how many were well-intentioned people with little to no experience of child sex abuse.

I am in no way saying that their opinions and actions were wrong, I’m just interested to see the similarities in viewpoints of those with similar experiences.

Well, it seems to have posted three times . Lynn, you’re candid when you want to be! Being relatively unapologetic is so important to me. Doing so in this blog, helps to remind me to do so in my daily life. Thanks for reading!!!!

I’ll take that hug, soul sister! We, myself included, often have good intentions but aren’t very intentional with them, you know? I think everyone who was so up in arms meant very well, meant to do what was right and good in the situation. I just hate that it resulted in tons of money in that bastard’s pocket.

Thanks for reading! Your tweets crack me up.

I completely agree with you on the screwed up coming and going thing. It was a bad situation made worse by bad handing, on all fronts.

Thank you, but don’t be sorry. It was a long time ago and I have grown so much through it and because of it. My children have a better mother because of it, I understand things like this differently than I would have because of it, I can relate to kids differently because of it. I almost became a child psychologist because of it, because I get what some of them are going through, but I had to step back and re-evaluate that I would end up in jail for assaulting a parent at some point. I would have been less effective because of my closeness to the situation. Regardless, it was a rough way to start life, but I honestly think it made me better after dealing with it and coming out the other end. If I was still in a bad space because of it, then it would be tragic. But it’s not.

I did see/hear/know of some survivors who were among the boycotters and I get their sentiment, I really do. I just disagree with it. I understand being angry enough to want amazon’s balls on a platter, I just wanted to give less attention to the whole thing, you know? Anyway, thank you soooooo much for reading and commenting. Please come back!

I just want to hug the five year old you. I want to feed her dinner, give her a bath, and tuck her into bed. I want to rock her and tell her everything is ok. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

You can do all of those things in August! To hell with 5 year old me, feed, and tuck me into bed at 29… I won’t argue! You’re the best.

Fucking unbelievable. I am so fucking proud to be your friend.

Thanks, lady. Back atcha.

i feel no need to comment on your view of the pedo lunatic….i am with you all the way…..i choose however to comment one you beautifully crafted poem at the end of your post. Heart-wrenching, painfilled, and sad, but your words are strong and powerful and still holding your head up without shame…i wish i knew you personally because i would give you a hug and tell you that i am proud of you, (hopefully not sounding condescending in the process)

Thanks, lady. What an awesome compliment.

[...] I Was a Pedophile's Plaything: My Response to the Amazon Scandal 74 comment(s) [...]

Thanks for your candor and honesty. Also, I like the poem. A lot. I also read the original post where you discussed the abuse and I must say I can relate to your relationship with your mother. Mine’s still alive and I’ve often wondered how I’d feel when she dies. Relief? Regret? Both I’m sure. Anyway, love your blog. Keep on, keepin’ on.

Hi there – just read this post and comments and wanted to say – hope you noticed the reaction from different people, people who have been through things, and hope you realise how much of an amazing thing you have done, and not only for them. My warmest, cheeriest feelings go out to you. Thank you.

[...] I Was a Pedophile's Plaything: My Response to the Amazon Scandal 77 comment(s) [...]

[...] I Was a Pedophile's Plaything: My Response to the Amazon Scandal 78 comment(s) [...]