Archive for November 2010
Dirty Facebook Slut
I’m gonna come right out and say it. I love Facebook. I am a Facebook whore. I’m a slut for Facebook and I don’t care who knows it. Okay, I do care a little bit. I know, it’s like the Wal-Mart or McDonald’s of websites, and it’s so not cool anymore, and everyone who has a Facebook page is going to burn in hell, and if the me ten years ago… the me who didn’t own a television or EVER listen to pop radio, the me who worked in a coffee shop and had everything pierced, the me who dated… { read more }
Sex is on Fire
I’ve been listening to Kings of Leon since they came up in a conversation with a friend of mine this morning. First, I have to say that I love Kings of Leon and if you don’t you should just keep that to yourself so we can still be friends. Second, how hot is the phrase Your sex is on fire? The song is catchy like the plague and gets stuck in my head and then I have that chorus running through my mind, and I have to say it’s like Spanish Fly. The wording is hot in a semi-classy way,… { read more }
Whoops! Stream of Consciousness
Today I tackled a few of those awful things that have been hovering on my to-do list for about two weeks. I learned my lesson the hard way (again) that some things just hsouldn’t be put off. I finally cleaned out the chicken coop. I’ve been putting the weekly cleaning off for the last two weeks. BIG MISTAKE. I have officially learned that letting it go in the winter is the worst mistake a person can make. It resulted in chicken shit being frozen solid and stuck to parts of the coop that it normally wouldn’t stick to. This resulted… { read more }
Frozen Poo
I thought I’d share a little anecdote (not antidote) with you… I just had to shovel frozen shit out of my chicken coop. I’m more than a little upset that chickens are too stupid to experience or express gratitude. I also thought I would remind you that there are three days left to get your booty entered in the $200 giftbasket giveaway. If you’ve been holding out, now’s your chance. The winner will be chosen on Wednesday morning, before most of you are even awake… don’t wait!!! AND, you’re hot and awesome even when it’s FREEZING outside!!!!
Vegetable Soup
I got a request from a reader a couple of weeks ago to put up a recipe for a veg soup. I have to be honest, I make vegetable soup at least once every other week, as often as once a week in colder weather. It’s a staple around here for anything left in the fridge at the end of the week, or the day following a heavy meal when we need a hearty dose of veg. Despite how often I make it, I don’t have a recipe. It’s more of a method, a technique that can be modified here… { read more }
Wearever After
I am passionate about baby wearing. Before I knew the term “baby wearing” I was passionate about baby wearing. But, I haven’t always been passionate about baby wearing. Like almost everything else about parenting, it was a process learning what did and didn’t work for me. When Makaio was born, I bought a Baby Bjorn (honeslty, because I’d heard a bunch of celebrities endorse it and I thought it was a “should have”). It was awkward and uncomfortable and didn’t work for us. I set it aside and, not realizing there were other options, didn’t try anything else until I… { read more }
10 Things Which Make Me Feel Feelings of Thanks
None of these are my family, my husband, my children, my home, my food or any of those other obvious, given, schoolroom choices. Those are implied. Don’t bitch at me. 1. I’m thankful that my tits look better than they did a year ago. I shouldn’t be surprised, if my belly can go back to normal after how FUCKING big it was… surely my poor little B-DD boobies stood a chance as well. But I never believed it until I saw it…. twice. I thought for sure they were milk-laden beyond repair this time. 2. DVR. I don’t know how… { read more }
Dishes in Hell
When I first moved to the UK and my husband and I moved into our new house together, there was no dishwasher (you know… except me) and no tumble dryer. I had to line-dry my clothes and hand-wash my dishes. I was in a fucking time warp back to 1950. The thing with line-drying clothes in the UK is that it’s always fucking raining. In the summer it rains, which is almost worse than in the winter when it rains. At least when it’s cold, the heating is on and you can drape things over radiators and hang things up… { read more }
My Little List
My to-do list taunts me. As I’m writing it out, I can actually hear it laughing at me. Oh yeah, you’re definitely going to get all of that done. You lazy bitch, you know you’re going to watch Gilmore Girls and sew at naptime instead of doing the dishes. Who the fuck are you kidding? I put things on there that only take a second to do because otherwise I will procrastinate doing them, and they make me feel better when I cross them off. If I wake up knowing I’m going to have a particularly unproductive day, I’ll even… { read more }
Sleep to Dream
I keep having these crazy dreams about my husband. The other night I had a dream that he was making me give the baby away, last night it was that he was thinking about leaving me because I didn’t do enough housework. Don’t psycho-analyze these. Novak would give up breathing before he would give up Hudson, and the house is plenty clean. I’m clearly just having some sort of nervous breakdown. Point is, do you ever have those dreams that are so realistic that you wake up wanting to cry or punch someone? Because it is the worst way ever… { read more }
