Archive for July 2010
Stir-Fry Recipe
End of the week, you’ve got to go grocery shopping tomorrow because you’re almost out of all those staples that you will self-implode without, but you’ve got all this veg in the fridge that you bought on Monday with the best of intentions. Then, on Tuesday, you didn’t take my advice about having the veg lasagne in the freezer and you wanted to kill yourself at the thought of making supper and so you had pizza night. Then, on Thursday so-and-so had such-and-such and so you grabbed drive-thru and now you have this half-limp veg that has to be used… { read more }
If I Was a Coyote, I’d Be the Pregnant Newlywed One
You know how when a man marries a pregnant woman he’s said to have made an honest woman out of her… despite the fact that she more typically will make an honest man out of him? But that is not the saying or the point! So, having made an honest woman out of me by handing me their very reputable bandwidth, I have been given the enormous honor of guest blogging for Piki Eat. It’s the food blog for a blogging network called Pikimal. They were incredibly awesome enough to notice I have this crazy huge passion for food and… { read more }
Was it a House? New Boobs? Nope, Last Night I Bought My Big-Girl Panties
Okay, I’m hoping that you already know that this is not a reference to me needing to buy bigger underwear because I’m fatter than I used to be. It’s the whole potty-training-growing-up-out-of-diapers-big-girl-panties reference. And yes, I’ve been potty trained for more than two decades now; it’s just a figure of speech, an analogy if you will. Anyway, enough with the suspense—I bought my dot com. If you go to http://stayathomebabe.com/ it will bring you right back here, well to my homepage anyway—not this article. Go ahead, try it (actually, maybe after you’re done reading this post)…. I got drunk and… { read more }
10 Things You (Probably) Don’t Know About Me
1. If I’m alone and I blow my nose and I have one of those big, crusty boogers that’s lodged up in the top of my nose, I pick it out with my finger. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t eat it or anything. I wipe it off on tissue; but not before getting elbow deep up there. 2. I like Lady Gaga & Brittney Spears & Justin Timberlake. A lot. 3. I used to sing, like in front of people, pretty well. Then I got a horrible case of stage fright when I was about 15 and… { read more }
Technical Difficulties
So, today’s post was actually written on Saturday, since I’m trying to get packed and organized for the trip back to the states I wrote it a little in advance. Gasp! Oh, the indecency of not writing in real-time!! Anyway, when I went to save the draft, I accidentally hit publish and then took it down as quickly as my little fingers could. Now that I’ve put it back up it’s publishing it as Saturday. So, if you’re viewing from my homepage it will look like I haven’t put anything up today. Just go here and thanks for reading!!!
I Tried to Not Stare at His Lazy Eye but My Washing Machine Smelled Like Swamp-Ass
You know the term “liberal white guilt”—this concept that liberal white people feel so guilty about being the social majority that they will bend over backward to make sure that they are politically correct? I’ve realized that I have a raging case of not-handicapped guilt. Here’s how I know: I got a new washing machine, maybe we’ll discuss how exciting that is later; because it’s SOOO damned exciting. Anyway, when I opened the door for the delivery guy he was cross-eyed. And I knoooow that’s not the medical term for it, and there’s any number of conditions that will cause… { read more }
If I Put Tupperware in my Girly Bits, I Wouldn’t Want to Talk About It Either
As a child of the 80’s—hey, ’81 is still the 80’s… and that makes me Generation Y… stop imagining me older than I am!—I am proud to say that we have a knack for making things dirrrrty. One place where I think we went horribly, horribly wrong with this tendency is at-home sex toy parties. You know the ones? My mother’s generation would gather all their friends in their living rooms on a Friday evening and a Tupperware sales (usually woman) person would come explain how the right storage containers could change their lives and they would have a glass… { read more }
Giveaway?! Really?! Yes, Really.
Alright, since I’m such a whore for LUSH I decided to have this week’s giveaway be more LUSH. I promise that eventually I will do something else, just not yet. It’s so good!! I’m going to giveaway one of my favorite products: The Olive Branch Shower Gel. It smells not at all like it should from the list of ingredients, and it is the most amazing smell ever. It smells a bit powdery and feminine on me but my husband loves it and it smells all manly and hot on him. I can’t explain it. Just trust me. Also I’ll… { read more }
Drum Roll Please….
Alright, my lovely babies, it’s time for the much anticipated giveaway results. Out of the 53 comments, randomizer.org chose comment number 8 which was mum_2_5 following me on twitter. She has wisely chosen to pamper herself with the bath bombs from Lush. Congratulations!! Also, I got a little high on the giving rush. I’m telling you, clicking that randomizer button is like playing the slots or eating potato chips; once just isn’t enough. I clicked it again to choose a runner up and got number 23, shevilkenevil for liking my vajayjay; how fitting. So, shevilkenevil will also be receiving a… { read more }
Jiggle Jiggle… Porn Machine
When my husband gets feisty, he has a tendency to reach down my shirt and jiggle my boob about. Hey, at least I didn’t tell you about our sex toys! Anyway, I tell you this because there has been copious jiggling today and it went something like this: You’re awfully grabby today. I’m horny. Do you remember all those men who would grab your ass when you waitressed? Turns out, it was because they were horny. Shut up, I’m trying to write. On my porn machine. Yes, honey, on your porn machine. Somehow, I lost my porn machine in this… { read more }
